1 00:03:27,337 --> 00:03:29,252 Dear God, 2 00:03:29,383 --> 00:03:33,169 watch over me as I embark on this next posting. 3 00:03:33,300 --> 00:03:35,780 Think I'll have to get up at about 6:00 tomorrow. 4 00:03:42,396 --> 00:03:44,267 The pain in my stomach persists 5 00:03:44,398 --> 00:03:47,705 and is now further hampered by menstruation. 6 00:03:47,836 --> 00:03:50,447 I've taken two ibuprofen and milk of magnesia. 7 00:03:56,366 --> 00:03:58,325 Forgive me my impatience, 8 00:03:58,455 --> 00:04:01,415 but I hope you will reveal your plan for me soon. 9 00:04:01,545 --> 00:04:03,373 I can't shake the feeling that you must have saved me 10 00:04:03,504 --> 00:04:05,462 for something greater than this. 11 00:04:07,856 --> 00:04:09,466 Not that I'm complaining or anything. 12 00:04:10,380 --> 00:04:11,251 Amen. 13 00:04:57,601 --> 00:04:59,777 - Hi. Are you Maud? - Yes. Hi. 14 00:04:59,908 --> 00:05:02,127 So, I left some notes out on the kitchen table 15 00:05:02,258 --> 00:05:03,694 with all of her bits. 16 00:05:03,825 --> 00:05:05,348 She has a mate coming over tomorrow, 17 00:05:05,479 --> 00:05:07,481 but try and keep her off the sauce. 18 00:05:07,611 --> 00:05:10,179 Doctor's just started her on a new course of B12 shots, 19 00:05:10,310 --> 00:05:12,486 so she's having one of those every evening before dinner. 20 00:05:12,616 --> 00:05:14,183 Mmm-hmm. 21 00:05:14,314 --> 00:05:15,532 Your bedroom is just upstairs on the left. 22 00:05:15,663 --> 00:05:17,447 Her majesty's in there having a nap. 23 00:05:17,578 --> 00:05:18,666 How is she? 24 00:05:20,102 --> 00:05:21,364 Bit of a cunt. 25 00:05:21,712 --> 00:05:22,539 Have fun. 26 00:06:16,201 --> 00:06:20,031 Amanda Kohl. Forty-nine years old. 27 00:06:20,162 --> 00:06:21,859 Can you feel that? 28 00:06:21,990 --> 00:06:24,601 Stage 4 lymphoma of the spinal cord. 29 00:06:24,732 --> 00:06:28,170 Yep. Yeah. Yeah. 30 00:06:28,300 --> 00:06:30,085 I dare say you'll be seeing this one soon. 31 00:06:30,215 --> 00:06:31,739 You feel that? Uh-huh. 32 00:06:31,869 --> 00:06:32,870 We done? 33 00:06:33,001 --> 00:06:34,176 Mmm-hmm. 34 00:06:38,049 --> 00:06:39,747 What time would you like dinner this evening? 35 00:06:39,877 --> 00:06:40,835 8:00. 36 00:06:43,490 --> 00:06:45,013 There is a shopping list on the hall table. 37 00:06:45,143 --> 00:06:46,014 Mmm-hmm. 38 00:06:49,104 --> 00:06:50,105 I got it. 39 00:07:12,040 --> 00:07:14,434 I looked her up before I came here. 40 00:07:14,564 --> 00:07:18,655 Dancer. Choreographer. Minor celebrity. 41 00:07:18,786 --> 00:07:21,136 As you know, I have little time for creative types 42 00:07:21,266 --> 00:07:23,138 as they tend to be rather self-involved. 43 00:07:34,062 --> 00:07:35,585 What are you cooking up in there? 44 00:07:35,716 --> 00:07:37,457 Spaghetti Bolognese and garlic bread. 45 00:07:38,588 --> 00:07:39,633 Splendid. 46 00:07:59,348 --> 00:08:00,828 Is that temperature all right? 47 00:08:00,958 --> 00:08:02,177 Mmm, it's fine. 48 00:08:46,047 --> 00:08:47,527 Oh, hello. 49 00:08:50,921 --> 00:08:52,096 Who's your saint? 50 00:08:52,227 --> 00:08:53,271 Mary Magdalene. 51 00:08:55,056 --> 00:08:56,666 I didn't know they made necklaces of her. 52 00:08:58,276 --> 00:08:59,669 I ordered it online. 53 00:09:06,502 --> 00:09:08,286 You're prettier than the last one. 54 00:10:26,408 --> 00:10:27,409 Hey. 55 00:10:29,585 --> 00:10:31,935 What do you think? It's good. 56 00:10:43,164 --> 00:10:44,818 You must be Mary. No, Maud. 57 00:10:47,734 --> 00:10:48,909 Hope we're not turfing you out, are we? 58 00:10:49,039 --> 00:10:50,301 No, no. I'm going to meet a friend... 59 00:10:50,432 --> 00:10:51,825 Good, good. 60 00:10:51,955 --> 00:10:52,869 Cheerio, then. 61 00:10:56,351 --> 00:10:57,874 I should have told her 62 00:10:58,005 --> 00:10:58,962 I'd have been happy just to stay in my room. 63 00:11:01,356 --> 00:11:02,662 She must be embarrassed. 64 00:11:12,062 --> 00:11:13,498 Can you spare some change, please? 65 00:11:13,629 --> 00:11:14,848 Sorry, mate, I ain't got nothing. 66 00:11:14,978 --> 00:11:16,023 Fuck off, then. 67 00:11:18,634 --> 00:11:20,680 Excuse me, miss? 68 00:11:20,810 --> 00:11:21,942 Can you spare some change, please? 69 00:11:28,122 --> 00:11:29,471 Thank you, love. 70 00:11:29,601 --> 00:11:31,821 Bit, er... Bit nippy out, innit? 71 00:11:31,952 --> 00:11:33,997 May God bless you and never waste your pain. 72 00:11:34,128 --> 00:11:35,520 What? Nothing. 73 00:11:37,218 --> 00:11:38,828 God bless you, too, sweetheart. 74 00:11:46,009 --> 00:11:47,141 Why would someone like her 75 00:11:47,271 --> 00:11:48,577 end up in a town like this? 76 00:11:52,624 --> 00:11:55,279 This dump can't appeal to her any more than it does to me. 77 00:12:05,637 --> 00:12:06,856 Hello? 78 00:12:08,075 --> 00:12:10,033 Oh, what's happened? 79 00:12:10,164 --> 00:12:11,556 Come back to London! 80 00:12:11,687 --> 00:12:12,906 You can't just lock yourself up in here. 81 00:12:13,036 --> 00:12:14,995 You should be around people! 82 00:12:15,125 --> 00:12:16,779 Why the fuck do you care so much all of a sudden? 83 00:12:16,910 --> 00:12:18,476 Darling, don't be petulant. 84 00:12:18,607 --> 00:12:19,869 You're getting dangerously Norma Desmond... 85 00:12:20,000 --> 00:12:21,479 Oh, fuck you! 86 00:12:21,610 --> 00:12:23,003 Stupid cow! 87 00:12:24,918 --> 00:12:26,484 Hello. Hello. 88 00:12:31,141 --> 00:12:33,100 Sorry to call you back early. 89 00:12:33,230 --> 00:12:36,016 Silly old thing used to knock it back no problem. 90 00:12:36,146 --> 00:12:37,669 Even I couldn't keep up with her. 91 00:12:37,800 --> 00:12:39,367 Well, things are different now. 92 00:12:39,497 --> 00:12:41,978 Yes. Yes, of course. 93 00:12:44,111 --> 00:12:46,026 Do you, um, need me to do anything? 94 00:12:46,156 --> 00:12:47,592 No. 95 00:12:47,723 --> 00:12:49,029 She'll be all right? 96 00:12:49,159 --> 00:12:51,422 Oh, don't be an idiot, Richard. 97 00:12:51,553 --> 00:12:52,946 Sorry. 98 00:12:53,076 --> 00:12:54,121 Take care of yourself, darling. 99 00:13:11,878 --> 00:13:13,531 Pompous asshole. 100 00:13:13,662 --> 00:13:15,011 You should've seen him way back when. 101 00:13:15,142 --> 00:13:16,926 He was constantly trying to fuck me. 102 00:13:17,057 --> 00:13:19,015 He has plugs now, though, did you see them? 103 00:13:19,146 --> 00:13:21,235 No. No? 104 00:13:21,365 --> 00:13:24,107 Well, no one sees what they don't want to. 105 00:13:49,350 --> 00:13:50,307 Mmm. 106 00:13:54,746 --> 00:13:55,573 Stay with me. 107 00:13:58,838 --> 00:14:00,317 I don't wanna be alone. 108 00:14:16,029 --> 00:14:17,117 How long have you been doing this? 109 00:14:18,161 --> 00:14:19,249 Just over a year. 110 00:14:21,338 --> 00:14:23,384 What were you doing before? 111 00:14:23,514 --> 00:14:25,908 I worked at St. Afra's hospital. 112 00:14:26,039 --> 00:14:27,649 Horrible place. 113 00:14:31,348 --> 00:14:33,046 Have you seen a lot of death? 114 00:14:33,785 --> 00:14:34,786 Yes. 115 00:14:37,137 --> 00:14:38,268 What made you leave? 116 00:14:43,970 --> 00:14:45,928 I don't know. I just needed a change. 117 00:14:48,278 --> 00:14:49,366 I don't know... 118 00:14:52,587 --> 00:14:54,067 I was spread too thin. 119 00:14:58,027 --> 00:14:59,289 And it's what God wanted. 120 00:15:00,508 --> 00:15:02,597 When He came, everything changed. 121 00:15:04,207 --> 00:15:05,382 So, this is a recent conversion? 122 00:15:10,779 --> 00:15:12,912 When you pray, do you get a response? 123 00:15:17,264 --> 00:15:18,918 Sometimes He talks. 124 00:15:21,616 --> 00:15:22,660 You hear His voice? 125 00:15:25,750 --> 00:15:29,406 Most of the time, it's just 126 00:15:29,537 --> 00:15:33,976 like He's physically in me or around me. 127 00:15:35,847 --> 00:15:36,936 It's how He guides me. 128 00:15:38,720 --> 00:15:41,636 Like when He's pleased, it's like a... 129 00:15:41,766 --> 00:15:46,336 A shiver, or sometimes it's like a pulsing. 130 00:15:48,034 --> 00:15:51,341 And it's all warm and good. 131 00:15:53,039 --> 00:15:54,431 And He's just there. 132 00:16:08,880 --> 00:16:10,273 Nothing feels real anymore. 133 00:16:12,493 --> 00:16:14,930 Ever since I've moved back here, 134 00:16:15,061 --> 00:16:17,454 I keep thinking about that last moment, 135 00:16:18,455 --> 00:16:19,630 and wondering 136 00:16:21,110 --> 00:16:21,937 what it will be like. 137 00:16:24,157 --> 00:16:25,680 What will I be looking at? 138 00:16:27,725 --> 00:16:29,423 Will there be anyone else there? 139 00:16:34,471 --> 00:16:35,733 And then what? 140 00:16:38,475 --> 00:16:40,216 Nothing? 141 00:16:42,479 --> 00:16:43,872 Tell me I'm wrong. 142 00:16:49,704 --> 00:16:51,140 There is more. 143 00:16:52,315 --> 00:16:54,143 And not just afterwards. 144 00:16:55,405 --> 00:16:57,016 He's everywhere. 145 00:16:58,756 --> 00:17:00,106 He sees you. 146 00:17:01,846 --> 00:17:03,326 He won't let you fall. 147 00:17:17,558 --> 00:17:18,950 My little savior. 148 00:19:18,026 --> 00:19:19,158 Father. 149 00:19:19,723 --> 00:19:21,464 Thank you. 150 00:19:21,595 --> 00:19:28,297 And bring your hand, to join your right hand. 151 00:19:28,428 --> 00:19:32,258 And then draw a semi-circle above your head. 152 00:19:32,388 --> 00:19:35,086 Now, don't get me wrong, palliative care is noble work. 153 00:19:37,654 --> 00:19:40,179 But I always knew you had something more planned for me. 154 00:19:45,140 --> 00:19:48,056 It takes nothing special to mop up after the decrepit 155 00:19:48,187 --> 00:19:49,275 and the dying. 156 00:19:50,972 --> 00:19:52,278 But to save a soul, 157 00:19:53,670 --> 00:19:55,019 that's quite something. 158 00:20:01,939 --> 00:20:05,029 Your presence graces the air 159 00:20:05,160 --> 00:20:07,597 and I feel fuller of your love than ever before. 160 00:20:10,209 --> 00:20:12,036 More than enough to share. 161 00:20:24,310 --> 00:20:25,224 Oh. 162 00:20:48,943 --> 00:20:50,031 I can see you. 163 00:20:55,602 --> 00:20:56,646 Yes? 164 00:20:59,083 --> 00:21:00,868 Cynthia left. Yes. I'm Maud. 165 00:21:00,998 --> 00:21:02,348 Carol. 166 00:21:02,478 --> 00:21:03,914 It's too late to be visiting now. 167 00:21:05,046 --> 00:21:06,308 She's expecting me. 168 00:21:10,356 --> 00:21:11,748 She's sleeping. 169 00:22:26,780 --> 00:22:28,085 Maud! 170 00:22:29,130 --> 00:22:30,349 Come and join me! 171 00:23:02,946 --> 00:23:04,600 Dear God. 172 00:23:04,731 --> 00:23:06,080 Here is Amanda. 173 00:23:06,210 --> 00:23:08,125 Well, you know that. 174 00:23:08,256 --> 00:23:11,564 Thank you for bringing us together, Lord, 175 00:23:11,694 --> 00:23:14,131 and thank you for this meal which we gratefully receive. 176 00:23:19,223 --> 00:23:21,095 Bless Amanda's body, 177 00:23:21,225 --> 00:23:23,271 which is hurting now 178 00:23:23,402 --> 00:23:26,317 but has done so many wonderful things. 179 00:23:26,448 --> 00:23:28,450 And bless her mind 180 00:23:28,581 --> 00:23:30,670 which is shrouded in darkness. 181 00:23:31,975 --> 00:23:34,282 And reach out to her, like you did to me. 182 00:23:35,936 --> 00:23:36,850 Amen. 183 00:23:46,512 --> 00:23:47,600 He's here? 184 00:23:58,175 --> 00:23:59,916 I feel it, too. 185 00:24:57,583 --> 00:24:58,975 You look beautiful. 186 00:24:59,715 --> 00:25:00,934 No. 187 00:25:01,064 --> 00:25:02,065 Yes. 188 00:26:12,614 --> 00:26:13,746 Hey. 189 00:26:15,269 --> 00:26:16,575 No, I can't tonight. 190 00:26:17,271 --> 00:26:18,838 You know where I am. 191 00:26:18,968 --> 00:26:20,579 She's all right. 192 00:26:20,709 --> 00:26:22,537 Bit weird, but... 193 00:26:22,668 --> 00:26:23,625 Shh, I gotta go. 194 00:26:24,713 --> 00:26:26,106 Yeah, okay. Bye. Bye. 195 00:26:29,718 --> 00:26:32,373 Maud, your face! 196 00:26:43,079 --> 00:26:45,429 Oh, shit! 197 00:26:45,560 --> 00:26:47,040 Fuck. It's all over my dressing gown. 198 00:26:47,170 --> 00:26:48,128 Shit. 199 00:26:50,130 --> 00:26:52,219 Maud, I can do it. 200 00:26:52,349 --> 00:26:53,786 Don't let her drink too much. 201 00:26:54,874 --> 00:26:55,788 Don't worry. It's mostly for me. 202 00:26:58,486 --> 00:27:00,357 Honey! Come back to me! 203 00:27:07,408 --> 00:27:08,975 "Religious themes would play a prominent role 204 00:27:09,105 --> 00:27:11,281 "throughout Blake's career. 205 00:27:11,412 --> 00:27:14,284 "Namely a rejection of organized religion. 206 00:27:16,765 --> 00:27:18,462 "Which he claimed was an ugly distortion 207 00:27:18,593 --> 00:27:20,073 "of a true spiritual life." 208 00:27:21,204 --> 00:27:22,597 Hmm. 209 00:28:41,067 --> 00:28:42,546 Bye. 210 00:28:44,766 --> 00:28:46,463 Carol. Hey. 211 00:28:49,989 --> 00:28:51,338 I need to talk to you. 212 00:28:52,687 --> 00:28:53,557 Yeah? 213 00:28:57,605 --> 00:28:58,475 What's up? 214 00:29:00,260 --> 00:29:01,957 I want you to stop seeing Amanda. 215 00:29:02,088 --> 00:29:04,307 Huh? Just leave her alone. 216 00:29:04,438 --> 00:29:05,352 Did she tell you to come after me? 217 00:29:05,482 --> 00:29:07,223 No. I'm telling you. 218 00:29:07,354 --> 00:29:08,834 It's an important time for her right now. 219 00:29:08,964 --> 00:29:10,749 She's got big things to deal with 220 00:29:10,879 --> 00:29:13,447 and she needs to be focused. 221 00:29:13,577 --> 00:29:16,755 And I just don't think you can fit into that anymore. 222 00:29:16,885 --> 00:29:18,060 I don't know what you're talking about, 223 00:29:18,191 --> 00:29:20,280 but I'm pretty sure your patient's sex life 224 00:29:20,410 --> 00:29:21,498 is none of your business. 225 00:29:21,629 --> 00:29:23,413 I know she's giving you money. 226 00:29:23,544 --> 00:29:25,633 Again, none of your fucking business. 227 00:29:25,764 --> 00:29:29,376 Look, I'm trying to be respectful. 228 00:29:29,506 --> 00:29:32,466 I didn't swear at you or anything, I just... 229 00:29:33,728 --> 00:29:35,251 I just don't think it's a good idea... 230 00:29:35,382 --> 00:29:36,731 Please. Respectful? 231 00:29:36,862 --> 00:29:37,863 If you don't like that she fucks women, 232 00:29:37,993 --> 00:29:39,560 that's your problem. Listen, Carol, 233 00:29:39,690 --> 00:29:40,779 you could have an eight-inch cock for all I care 234 00:29:40,909 --> 00:29:42,084 and I'd still be telling you this 235 00:29:42,215 --> 00:29:43,216 after the way you looked at her last night. 236 00:29:43,346 --> 00:29:44,521 Whoa! What? 237 00:29:44,652 --> 00:29:46,654 What was that, by the way? 238 00:29:46,785 --> 00:29:48,003 Do you think you're too good for her? 239 00:29:48,134 --> 00:29:49,526 Do you think this is just a joke? 240 00:29:49,657 --> 00:29:52,268 Of course not. Amanda is dying. 241 00:29:52,399 --> 00:29:55,358 I have a responsibility to look after her. 242 00:29:56,185 --> 00:29:58,535 This is life and death. 243 00:29:58,666 --> 00:30:02,104 It's spiritual. On another level. 244 00:30:02,235 --> 00:30:03,889 But no feelings. I'm sure you're great in bed, 245 00:30:04,019 --> 00:30:05,673 but really, 246 00:30:05,804 --> 00:30:07,806 you're just a waste of her time at the moment. 247 00:30:07,936 --> 00:30:09,503 Can you hear yourself? 248 00:30:10,243 --> 00:30:12,027 Maud, you're her nurse. 249 00:30:12,158 --> 00:30:13,333 She doesn't want you to see it, 250 00:30:13,463 --> 00:30:15,814 but she is vulnerable right now, 251 00:30:15,944 --> 00:30:17,685 and it is not right that she spends 252 00:30:17,816 --> 00:30:20,340 her last days getting worked up 253 00:30:20,470 --> 00:30:22,733 about a silly girl who doesn't care about her. 254 00:30:22,864 --> 00:30:24,474 I care about her. Not enough. 255 00:30:26,259 --> 00:30:27,173 What are you doing? 256 00:30:28,087 --> 00:30:28,870 I'm leaving. 257 00:30:29,523 --> 00:30:30,350 Oh. 258 00:30:32,787 --> 00:30:34,006 Okay, so you'll do it? 259 00:30:35,311 --> 00:30:36,617 Anything you say, Maud. 260 00:30:39,272 --> 00:30:41,535 Don't tell her I told you, though. 261 00:30:41,665 --> 00:30:44,146 Just, you know, make something up. 262 00:30:44,843 --> 00:30:46,235 Don't hurt her feelings. 263 00:30:46,845 --> 00:30:47,933 Okay. 264 00:30:48,411 --> 00:30:49,325 Okay. 265 00:31:01,816 --> 00:31:03,252 I think it went well. 266 00:31:06,429 --> 00:31:09,606 A whole day and her phone has been silent. 267 00:31:10,956 --> 00:31:12,740 It must be a relief to her, too. 268 00:31:16,048 --> 00:31:18,311 She radiates peace, 269 00:31:18,441 --> 00:31:19,965 and I am reminded of myself 270 00:31:20,095 --> 00:31:21,967 in the first flushes of your love. 271 00:31:26,145 --> 00:31:27,494 We don't need anyone else. 272 00:31:44,511 --> 00:31:45,642 Katie? 273 00:31:48,819 --> 00:31:49,733 Katie? 274 00:31:51,605 --> 00:31:54,347 Katie, hey. I thought that was you. 275 00:31:55,957 --> 00:31:57,524 How's it going? It's been ages. 276 00:31:58,351 --> 00:31:59,134 Yeah, good. 277 00:32:01,093 --> 00:32:02,311 How are you, Joy? 278 00:32:03,356 --> 00:32:05,271 Yeah, not bad. Not bad, you know. 279 00:32:05,401 --> 00:32:08,056 Knackered. Got patients sleeping in the corridors, 280 00:32:08,187 --> 00:32:10,189 surgeries all double-booked. It's a total madhouse. 281 00:32:14,367 --> 00:32:16,195 So, how's it going? You taking care of yourself? 282 00:32:16,325 --> 00:32:18,110 Yeah. 283 00:32:18,240 --> 00:32:19,459 We all thought you must have left town or something. 284 00:32:19,589 --> 00:32:20,982 Not seen you out and about anymore. 285 00:32:21,983 --> 00:32:23,637 I've been around. 286 00:32:23,767 --> 00:32:25,421 Oh, yeah? What you up to? 287 00:32:25,552 --> 00:32:26,727 I'm a private carer. 288 00:32:28,033 --> 00:32:28,859 You're still nursing? 289 00:32:29,556 --> 00:32:31,297 What? 290 00:32:31,427 --> 00:32:33,603 Nothing. I'm just surprised. I mean... 291 00:32:33,734 --> 00:32:34,691 Sorry, where are you doing it? Who with? 292 00:32:34,822 --> 00:32:36,389 A private agency. 293 00:32:36,519 --> 00:32:38,086 And they know what happened? Yes. 294 00:32:41,263 --> 00:32:43,439 Well, I've gotta go. It was nice to see you, Joy. 295 00:32:45,528 --> 00:32:46,442 Katie! 296 00:32:55,886 --> 00:32:56,931 Take my number, yeah? 297 00:32:57,671 --> 00:32:59,499 What? 298 00:32:59,629 --> 00:33:02,589 If you ever wanna talk or get a drink or anything. 299 00:33:20,650 --> 00:33:21,477 That one there. 300 00:33:26,134 --> 00:33:27,266 Yes, and then that one. 301 00:33:37,493 --> 00:33:38,929 Oh. You... You can't do that. 302 00:33:39,060 --> 00:33:40,583 What? 303 00:33:40,714 --> 00:33:43,804 You... You slipped those cards in. 304 00:33:44,587 --> 00:33:45,458 Did I? 305 00:33:49,679 --> 00:33:52,769 It's no fun if you cheat. Which one was it? 306 00:33:52,900 --> 00:33:54,510 Mmm, that one... 307 00:33:56,860 --> 00:33:58,775 Can you give me a moment? 308 00:33:58,906 --> 00:34:00,429 Oh. Yes. And take that away. 309 00:34:03,171 --> 00:34:05,130 Ooh! Can I have a cup of tea? 310 00:34:05,260 --> 00:34:06,087 Of course. 311 00:34:08,307 --> 00:34:10,657 Hello. 312 00:34:10,787 --> 00:34:12,833 I didn't expect to hear from you. 313 00:34:23,539 --> 00:34:24,714 Wha... What do you mean? 314 00:34:27,326 --> 00:34:28,718 Why? 315 00:34:45,300 --> 00:34:46,475 There you go. 316 00:34:50,610 --> 00:34:51,785 You know, I've been thinking 317 00:34:51,915 --> 00:34:53,917 it might be nice to go out some time. 318 00:34:54,048 --> 00:34:56,137 To the theater or something. 319 00:34:56,268 --> 00:34:57,747 I'd have no clue what to see 320 00:34:57,878 --> 00:35:00,054 but I'm sure you could suggest something. 321 00:35:01,621 --> 00:35:03,971 Maybe after I... I want to go to bed. 322 00:35:06,974 --> 00:35:08,889 It's 5:00. 323 00:35:09,019 --> 00:35:10,978 I will go to bed when I damn well like. 324 00:35:12,632 --> 00:35:13,415 Yes, of course. 325 00:35:15,461 --> 00:35:16,723 Now's not the time. 326 00:36:46,029 --> 00:36:47,292 I need you to go into town for me. 327 00:36:47,422 --> 00:36:48,728 Yeah? 328 00:36:48,858 --> 00:36:49,642 To pick up some things for tonight. 329 00:36:49,772 --> 00:36:51,078 I'll make a list. 330 00:36:52,035 --> 00:36:53,167 Okay, no problem. 331 00:37:35,862 --> 00:37:38,778 Oh, yes! 332 00:37:49,005 --> 00:37:51,094 I am out of here! 333 00:37:59,015 --> 00:38:00,321 Is it ready? 334 00:38:00,452 --> 00:38:01,235 I'm just lighting the candles. 335 00:38:13,029 --> 00:38:14,074 Plates. 336 00:38:16,816 --> 00:38:18,165 Get the lights! 337 00:38:25,564 --> 00:38:29,959 ♪♪ Happy birthday to you 338 00:38:30,090 --> 00:38:34,137 ♪♪ Happy birthday to you 339 00:38:34,268 --> 00:38:39,273 ♪♪ Happy birthday, dear Amanda 340 00:38:39,404 --> 00:38:43,321 ♪♪ Happy birthday to you! ♪ 341 00:38:51,198 --> 00:38:52,112 Lights. 342 00:39:08,302 --> 00:39:10,826 So, Carol, how did you and Mandy meet? 343 00:39:10,957 --> 00:39:12,524 We met online. 344 00:39:12,654 --> 00:39:13,612 Ah, so now you have a menage a trois? 345 00:39:13,742 --> 00:39:14,917 Hardly. 346 00:39:15,048 --> 00:39:17,050 Maud doesn't like Carol. 347 00:39:17,180 --> 00:39:18,443 It's funny. I can't figure out 348 00:39:18,573 --> 00:39:21,446 if she's a bigot or if she's just jealous. 349 00:39:21,576 --> 00:39:23,361 You know, she went sneaking behind my back 350 00:39:23,491 --> 00:39:24,971 to try to scare Carol away? 351 00:39:27,495 --> 00:39:31,107 To save my soul, if I understand correctly. 352 00:39:33,936 --> 00:39:35,503 Excuse me. 353 00:39:35,634 --> 00:39:38,114 Don't run away. I'm talking to you. 354 00:39:38,245 --> 00:39:41,988 Maud is my savior, you see. 355 00:39:42,118 --> 00:39:44,773 She's been looking out for me in more ways than one, 356 00:39:44,904 --> 00:39:47,689 but you got a little carried away, didn't you? 357 00:39:50,736 --> 00:39:51,693 So, what is it? 358 00:39:54,609 --> 00:39:55,567 Am I indecent? 359 00:39:56,350 --> 00:39:57,873 No. You're lost. 360 00:40:38,392 --> 00:40:40,263 There's my little saint! 361 00:40:43,223 --> 00:40:45,312 Oh, no, no. Sweetheart, no, no, 362 00:40:45,443 --> 00:40:48,620 you know you shouldn't take anything I say seriously. 363 00:40:48,750 --> 00:40:50,448 I just wanna see you loosen up. 364 00:40:50,578 --> 00:40:52,711 You're a beautiful young woman 365 00:40:52,841 --> 00:40:55,670 and you should have some fun while you still can. 366 00:40:57,063 --> 00:40:59,500 I've got more important things on my mind. 367 00:40:59,631 --> 00:41:01,067 Oh, yes. Of course. 368 00:41:01,197 --> 00:41:03,939 Well, how could mere human frivolity 369 00:41:04,070 --> 00:41:06,246 possibly compete with the heavenly Father's 370 00:41:06,376 --> 00:41:07,682 warm, hard, pulsing... 371 00:41:09,771 --> 00:41:10,946 Let's go. Let's go. 372 00:41:27,876 --> 00:41:29,487 Maybe if you just let me talk to her... 373 00:41:29,617 --> 00:41:31,445 No. Absolutely not. 374 00:41:31,576 --> 00:41:34,317 You should be thankful she isn't pressing charges. 375 00:41:37,103 --> 00:41:39,366 Ms. Kohl expressed some other concerns. 376 00:41:40,149 --> 00:41:41,324 Is everything all right? 377 00:41:45,938 --> 00:41:46,852 I'm fine. 378 00:43:04,190 --> 00:43:06,366 God, 379 00:43:06,496 --> 00:43:08,498 all I feel of you now is this pain. 380 00:43:09,674 --> 00:43:11,414 A gnawing, burning... 381 00:43:13,503 --> 00:43:19,118 Maybe it's ulcers or cancer or appendicitis. 382 00:43:19,248 --> 00:43:20,510 If you're trying to teach me something, 383 00:43:21,947 --> 00:43:23,513 I can't see what it is. 384 00:43:45,231 --> 00:43:47,625 Quite frankly, it all just seems such a waste. 385 00:43:50,671 --> 00:43:53,152 I was ready and open and alive, 386 00:43:53,282 --> 00:43:54,632 and this is my reward? 387 00:43:55,502 --> 00:43:58,940 Unemployable. Unoccupied. 388 00:44:04,990 --> 00:44:07,166 Perhaps you aren't as wise as I thought. 389 00:44:09,037 --> 00:44:11,039 Perhaps I wasn't paying enough attention. 390 00:44:22,964 --> 00:44:26,141 I can't help but feel an act of spite has occurred. 391 00:44:35,934 --> 00:44:38,763 If this is how you treat your most loyal subjects, 392 00:44:40,808 --> 00:44:43,245 I shudder to think what awaits those who shun you. 393 00:46:26,958 --> 00:46:28,873 Yeah, yeah. 394 00:46:29,003 --> 00:46:31,701 Oh, yeah. Oh. Oh. 395 00:46:32,311 --> 00:46:33,355 Oh. 396 00:46:33,486 --> 00:46:36,228 Not yet. 397 00:46:36,358 --> 00:46:38,012 Oh, sorry. Oh. 398 00:46:51,199 --> 00:46:52,200 See you later. 399 00:47:50,693 --> 00:47:52,826 Hey, er, Joy, it's Katie. 400 00:47:54,872 --> 00:47:56,569 Hey. Yeah, well, I... 401 00:47:56,699 --> 00:47:59,572 I was just wondering if you wanna go for that drink. 402 00:47:59,702 --> 00:48:03,097 You know, have that chat and just hang out. 403 00:48:03,228 --> 00:48:05,012 I'd like to chat. 404 00:48:07,493 --> 00:48:10,844 Cool. Great. That's great. 405 00:48:10,975 --> 00:48:13,281 Well, you know, if I am honest with you, 406 00:48:13,412 --> 00:48:15,109 I did think it was kinda weird 407 00:48:15,240 --> 00:48:16,981 when I saw you and you suggested it, 408 00:48:17,111 --> 00:48:19,461 just because you never seemed to like me that much. 409 00:48:21,507 --> 00:48:22,987 Mmm... No, no, no. 410 00:48:23,117 --> 00:48:24,814 No, I didn't... I didn't mean... 411 00:48:26,164 --> 00:48:27,165 Don't be like that. 412 00:48:28,993 --> 00:48:30,908 Well, I'm just at the Star 413 00:48:31,038 --> 00:48:32,605 at the moment with, erm, some friends, 414 00:48:32,735 --> 00:48:34,302 but I think they're, like, heading off soon. 415 00:48:34,433 --> 00:48:35,608 But I'm going to hang around a bit. 416 00:48:35,738 --> 00:48:37,218 Oh, sorry. 417 00:48:38,524 --> 00:48:39,394 Yeah, of course. 418 00:48:41,309 --> 00:48:42,963 Well, in that case, erm, my apologies. 419 00:48:43,094 --> 00:48:45,618 I'm... I'm pretty stupid, so, bye. 420 00:49:20,174 --> 00:49:21,001 Careful. 421 00:49:21,915 --> 00:49:22,698 Sorry. Sorry. 422 00:49:27,877 --> 00:49:29,401 Whoa. 423 00:49:31,316 --> 00:49:32,708 You owe me a drink. 424 00:49:37,017 --> 00:49:39,628 Okay. Oh, my God. 425 00:49:43,676 --> 00:49:44,633 Don't move. 426 00:50:01,737 --> 00:50:02,608 Whoa. 427 00:50:03,652 --> 00:50:04,653 Is everything okay? 428 00:50:09,528 --> 00:50:11,704 Shh. It's okay, it's okay. 429 00:50:15,882 --> 00:50:16,796 Come on. 430 00:50:17,797 --> 00:50:19,103 Easy. 431 00:50:19,233 --> 00:50:20,452 No. Easy. 432 00:50:52,701 --> 00:50:53,963 I remember you, you know. 433 00:50:56,096 --> 00:50:57,880 You used to be out all the time. 434 00:50:58,838 --> 00:50:59,795 While back. 435 00:51:01,188 --> 00:51:02,102 I think... 436 00:51:03,973 --> 00:51:05,584 You and my mate Tommy had it off. 437 00:51:07,716 --> 00:51:10,458 Ah, I remember you. 438 00:51:10,589 --> 00:51:12,982 That lovely, lovely little nursey, eh? 439 00:52:12,433 --> 00:52:13,739 I did everything. 440 00:52:15,828 --> 00:52:17,830 Everything. I changed, didn't I? 441 00:52:20,441 --> 00:52:22,791 I thought I did what you told me to do, didn't I? 442 00:52:25,098 --> 00:52:26,665 Please. 443 00:52:26,795 --> 00:52:28,536 Please don't let me fall again. 444 00:52:30,190 --> 00:52:31,496 I'm begging you. 445 00:52:32,932 --> 00:52:34,412 I'll do anything. 446 00:52:36,283 --> 00:52:38,372 Please guide me. 447 00:54:40,277 --> 00:54:41,887 Revelation. 448 00:54:42,017 --> 00:54:42,844 And just in time. 449 00:54:45,978 --> 00:54:48,981 O Lord, your mercy knows no bounds. 450 00:54:49,111 --> 00:54:51,244 For shame that I almost fell so easily. 451 00:56:43,530 --> 00:56:45,140 I should have expected resistance. 452 00:56:47,099 --> 00:56:49,144 Nothing worthwhile comes easily. 453 00:57:11,732 --> 00:57:13,125 Amanda. 454 00:57:13,255 --> 00:57:15,127 Amanda, Amanda. 455 00:57:15,954 --> 00:57:17,346 You called to me, Amanda. 456 00:57:18,739 --> 00:57:21,742 It was no small thing. It meant something. 457 00:57:25,093 --> 00:57:26,443 Never waste your pain. 458 00:57:27,574 --> 00:57:29,837 Never waste your pain. 459 00:58:39,951 --> 00:58:40,734 Beautiful. 460 00:58:41,387 --> 00:58:42,301 Mmm. 461 00:58:45,783 --> 00:58:47,001 Do you mind if I sit? 462 00:58:47,132 --> 00:58:48,481 Mmm, 'course not. 463 00:58:54,661 --> 00:58:57,838 Oh. You don't work at St. Afra's, do you? 464 00:58:57,969 --> 00:58:59,274 Oh, no, no. I'm a private carer. 465 00:58:59,405 --> 00:59:02,321 Oh, right. 466 00:59:02,451 --> 00:59:04,715 I just have a friend who works at St. Afra's, 467 00:59:04,845 --> 00:59:06,151 and I wondered if you knew her. 468 00:59:06,281 --> 00:59:08,588 Oh, their uniform's blue. 469 00:59:08,719 --> 00:59:11,939 I honestly have so much respect 470 00:59:12,070 --> 00:59:14,115 for anyone in the medical profession, 471 00:59:14,246 --> 00:59:16,683 like, any area. 472 00:59:16,814 --> 00:59:19,294 I really think it's the most important thing 473 00:59:19,425 --> 00:59:20,861 you can do with your life. 474 00:59:20,992 --> 00:59:22,646 Almost. 475 00:59:22,776 --> 00:59:24,909 Thank you. That's so sweet. 476 00:59:25,039 --> 00:59:28,216 Yeah, it can be really rewarding. 477 00:59:28,347 --> 00:59:29,914 Not all that glamorous, but, yeah, 478 00:59:31,002 --> 00:59:32,699 I love it. 479 00:59:32,830 --> 00:59:34,658 I bet you get no time for yourself, though? 480 00:59:34,788 --> 00:59:37,835 Oh, it's fine. I have my own life, my own things. 481 00:59:38,575 --> 00:59:40,141 Got choir practice. 482 00:59:43,884 --> 00:59:45,799 So, this person you're with at the moment, 483 00:59:45,930 --> 00:59:46,844 what's wrong with them? 484 00:59:46,974 --> 00:59:48,106 Oh... 485 00:59:49,586 --> 00:59:52,240 I'm not really supposed to discuss the details. 486 00:59:52,371 --> 00:59:53,851 But do you have a good relationship? 487 00:59:53,981 --> 00:59:56,810 You get on with them? Mmm. Really well. 488 00:59:56,941 --> 00:59:58,769 I'm with a lovely lady at the minute, actually. 489 00:59:58,899 --> 01:00:00,379 We're good pals. 490 01:00:02,207 --> 01:00:04,601 That's one of the things I love about the job. 491 01:00:04,731 --> 01:00:06,690 You find yourself quickly building 492 01:00:06,820 --> 01:00:08,692 these quite meaningful relationships. 493 01:00:10,171 --> 01:00:12,609 You know, you're often right there 494 01:00:12,739 --> 01:00:15,046 at a very important time in peoples' lives. 495 01:00:19,224 --> 01:00:21,095 Although that sometimes makes things harder in the end. 496 01:00:21,226 --> 01:00:22,967 When you have to leave? 497 01:00:23,097 --> 01:00:24,403 Oh, no. When they die. 498 01:00:25,752 --> 01:00:27,101 I don't think I'll be with this one much longer, 499 01:00:27,232 --> 01:00:28,233 to be honest with you. 500 01:00:29,408 --> 01:00:31,279 Sadly, 501 01:00:31,410 --> 01:00:35,370 that, as they say is how the cookie crumbles. 502 01:00:40,114 --> 01:00:43,074 Oh, erm, I'm Esther, by the way. 503 01:00:43,204 --> 01:00:44,249 What's your name? 504 01:00:54,259 --> 01:00:55,826 What if I'm getting it all wrong? 505 01:00:58,089 --> 01:01:01,658 What if you are smirking, or indifferent, 506 01:01:01,788 --> 01:01:04,225 or think me a clueless idiot like that stupid woman? 507 01:01:07,446 --> 01:01:09,491 Is that how Amanda saw me all along? 508 01:03:08,045 --> 01:03:09,786 How will I know what to do? 509 01:04:54,194 --> 01:04:55,152 Katie? 510 01:04:58,895 --> 01:05:00,113 Katie, it's Joy. 511 01:05:07,860 --> 01:05:09,296 There you are! 512 01:05:09,427 --> 01:05:11,037 Sorry, did I get you out of bed? 513 01:05:12,691 --> 01:05:14,301 Mind if I come in? 514 01:05:14,432 --> 01:05:16,608 I'm busy. I'll be quick, I promise. 515 01:05:16,738 --> 01:05:17,522 I'm just on my way to work. 516 01:05:20,699 --> 01:05:21,569 Thanks, love. 517 01:05:24,007 --> 01:05:24,964 Oh. 518 01:05:26,531 --> 01:05:27,401 This is nice. 519 01:05:30,927 --> 01:05:32,798 Cor, you ain't half tidy, are you? 520 01:05:37,977 --> 01:05:39,979 I hope you don't mind. I got your address from work. 521 01:05:40,110 --> 01:05:41,241 Just wanted to see how you are. 522 01:05:46,986 --> 01:05:49,162 Oh. This is cool. 523 01:05:50,033 --> 01:05:50,947 I like all this. 524 01:05:52,861 --> 01:05:54,515 Sorry I couldn't see you the other night, by the way. 525 01:05:54,646 --> 01:05:55,995 I was so shattered, 526 01:05:56,126 --> 01:05:56,822 I don't think I'd have been much fun, 527 01:05:56,953 --> 01:05:58,432 to be honest with you. 528 01:05:58,563 --> 01:05:59,738 I tried to call but you didn't pick up. 529 01:06:01,435 --> 01:06:02,262 Want a ciggy? 530 01:06:08,007 --> 01:06:09,052 How's work going? 531 01:06:11,489 --> 01:06:12,620 You not with a patient at the moment? 532 01:06:21,760 --> 01:06:23,066 I've been feeling really bad 533 01:06:23,196 --> 01:06:25,590 about the way I reacted last time I saw you. 534 01:06:25,720 --> 01:06:29,072 I'm sure you're doing a great job. You always did. 535 01:06:29,202 --> 01:06:30,682 And I know you put a lot of pressure on yourself. 536 01:06:33,598 --> 01:06:35,992 What happened before, it wasn't your fault, 537 01:06:36,122 --> 01:06:36,993 I know that. 538 01:06:38,603 --> 01:06:39,734 You do, too, right? 539 01:06:47,481 --> 01:06:48,874 What's going on, Katie? 540 01:06:51,790 --> 01:06:52,965 Come on, you can tell me. 541 01:06:55,228 --> 01:06:57,187 Look, I know it's a bit late now, 542 01:06:57,317 --> 01:06:59,232 but I wanted to tell you... 543 01:06:59,363 --> 01:07:00,581 I wanted to say that we should have been there 544 01:07:00,712 --> 01:07:03,019 before it all happened. 545 01:07:03,149 --> 01:07:04,368 We could see you were struggling for a while 546 01:07:04,498 --> 01:07:05,369 and no one did anything. 547 01:07:22,342 --> 01:07:23,387 I know it feels like everyone's 548 01:07:23,517 --> 01:07:24,257 in their own little bubble. 549 01:07:28,000 --> 01:07:29,219 But it does help to share. 550 01:07:48,673 --> 01:07:50,979 May the Lord bless and keep you, Joy. 551 01:07:52,155 --> 01:07:54,374 You what? 552 01:07:54,505 --> 01:07:57,377 It was sweet of you to come, but you mustn't worry. 553 01:07:57,508 --> 01:08:01,120 You're right. Back then, I was so lost. 554 01:08:01,251 --> 01:08:06,604 But now I am transformed. And soon, everyone will see. 555 01:08:09,041 --> 01:08:11,609 Right. Well, that's good. 556 01:08:11,739 --> 01:08:12,740 Thank you, Joy. 557 01:08:13,524 --> 01:08:14,612 Thank you for coming. 558 01:08:20,052 --> 01:08:22,010 Oh! Oh, right. 559 01:08:25,231 --> 01:08:26,580 Are you sure you're okay, then? 560 01:08:29,148 --> 01:08:30,845 Oh, fuck. I should go actually. 561 01:08:37,809 --> 01:08:39,506 I'm gonna come back later. All right? 562 01:08:39,985 --> 01:08:41,421 All right. 563 01:08:41,552 --> 01:08:42,683 I'm really glad things are looking up. 564 01:08:44,816 --> 01:08:45,686 See you later. 565 01:11:58,183 --> 01:12:03,188 I'm so sorry I was unkind to you. 566 01:12:03,319 --> 01:12:05,886 You made me think of things I didn't want to. 567 01:12:09,368 --> 01:12:10,543 It's all right. 568 01:12:12,458 --> 01:12:14,808 It is, Amanda. 569 01:12:14,939 --> 01:12:16,897 The Lord forgives that which is said in anger. 570 01:12:18,159 --> 01:12:19,378 He knows your heart. 571 01:12:20,379 --> 01:12:21,641 The Lord? 572 01:12:21,772 --> 01:12:22,990 Yes. God. 573 01:12:24,949 --> 01:12:26,472 God sent me to you. 574 01:12:28,822 --> 01:12:30,346 He forgives everything. 575 01:12:31,869 --> 01:12:33,349 You only have to ask. 576 01:12:41,313 --> 01:12:43,141 Heavenly Father, 577 01:12:43,271 --> 01:12:45,317 bless this woman in her pain. No! 578 01:12:45,448 --> 01:12:48,015 No. None of that nonsense. 579 01:12:54,195 --> 01:12:55,762 Amanda? 580 01:13:03,683 --> 01:13:06,947 You must be the loneliest girl I've ever seen. 581 01:13:10,255 --> 01:13:11,561 I'm here, Amanda. 582 01:13:13,345 --> 01:13:14,477 I am not alone. 583 01:13:16,174 --> 01:13:17,305 And neither are you. 584 01:13:17,436 --> 01:13:18,916 No. 585 01:13:19,046 --> 01:13:21,309 Snap out of it, honey. 586 01:13:26,706 --> 01:13:28,055 He isn't real. 587 01:13:29,405 --> 01:13:30,841 You must know that. 588 01:13:33,974 --> 01:13:36,847 No. You felt Him, too, remember? 589 01:13:37,674 --> 01:13:38,805 We both did. 590 01:13:39,632 --> 01:13:40,677 No, honey. 591 01:13:42,026 --> 01:13:43,244 I didn't. 592 01:13:46,030 --> 01:13:47,248 That's not true. 593 01:13:49,773 --> 01:13:52,602 You have no idea how dull it is to be dying. 594 01:13:58,695 --> 01:14:01,132 I hate to be the one to break it to you, 595 01:14:01,262 --> 01:14:03,526 but it's just you and me here. 596 01:14:07,399 --> 01:14:09,488 Nothing you do matters. 597 01:14:19,803 --> 01:14:22,458 Well, that was easy. 598 01:14:26,984 --> 01:14:28,333 Devil! 599 01:14:38,561 --> 01:14:39,823 Take some responsibility 600 01:14:39,953 --> 01:14:41,564 for your actions. 601 01:14:41,694 --> 01:14:44,958 You came back here because you are alone. 602 01:14:45,089 --> 01:14:47,352 If you were a true believer, He would be enough. 603 01:14:47,483 --> 01:14:51,225 But it's clear now. You are as weak as your faith. 604 01:17:24,248 --> 01:17:26,772 ♪♪ I saw the light 605 01:17:28,774 --> 01:17:31,472 ♪♪ I saw the light 606 01:17:33,474 --> 01:17:34,998 ♪♪ No more... 607 01:17:43,833 --> 01:17:46,879 ♪♪ Now I'm so happy 608 01:17:50,535 --> 01:17:53,320 ♪♪ No sorrow in sight 609 01:17:55,671 --> 01:17:58,456 ♪♪ Praise the Lord 610 01:18:00,197 --> 01:18:02,416 ♪♪ I saw... ♪ 611 01:18:46,330 --> 01:18:48,071 Somebody stop her! Hey, love! 612 01:18:48,201 --> 01:18:50,508 Someone please help her. Oh, my God! 613 01:18:50,638 --> 01:18:52,162 Oh, my God! No, no, no. Don't!